Never argue with a child

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically
impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,"
Then you ask him".
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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how
nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,' There's
Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher.
She's dead."
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Because your feet aren't empty."
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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is
watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take
all You want. God is watching the apples!"